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Piranha 3D (2010)

From the opening 5 minutes it was pretty clear what kind of film I was settling myself in for. Having some of the most terrible CGI effects I think I've ever witnessed from a full feature cinematic release, not just in the opening minutes but throughout the entire film. I don't believe for one second that the legendary Richard Dreyfuss had any idea of what kind of film he was making a cameo in. I'm going to start with the effects work because I think I have an understanding of why the CGI may have been done to standard it was. I can only assume it is done in this way as homage to the original b-movie creature feature from the 70's that this is loosely remaking. Had this been done in a Grind house style parody, similar to what was done with Planet Terror, I could have appreciated it and maybe even been on-board for it. However i don't believe for one second that this film has that much artistic awareness to warrant that level of appreciation. What's even more annoying is that the practical effects work done by Greg Nicotero (hence his small cameo made later on in the film) do look phenomenal. As for the casting, I'm slightly confused. This film manages to pull together some incredibly talented people, such as Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Jerry O'Connell, Adam Scott and even the great Christopher Lloyd. Every one of them feel like they are here to get paid and go home, nobody gives a single ounce of enthusiasm in any line they utter. With maybe the exception of Jerry O'Connell who plays the most over the top, in your face creeps put to screen. Steven R. McQueen plays Jake the central lead who gives a very unconvincing and wooden performance, which I can only assume isn't helped by the energy everyone else around him is providing. I watched this on a normal TV at home so did not experience the 3D element. This for me is another thing I take issue with when it comes to 3D films, they do look strange upon a rewatch out of the cinema environment. It’s one of my biggest gripes with the later Resident Evil films and it doesn't look any less out of place here either. Things are placed on the screen in a certain way or have a look about them that isn't quite right when watching through a normal TV. Whats most disappointing about this is that the cast is strong, the amazing practical effects work is here and the concept of this film is actually a truly terrifying one. Had they gone down a more serious route with it and done away with the over-the-top need to fill every other frame with in your face half naked women, I think this could have been done it a way that would have made a pretty decent creature feature. Every now and again I would see a glimmer of hope that is then instantly made overly sexualised or made into an unhumorous comedy piece that is aimed at teenagers. This wasn't enjoyable for me, I think most people would consider this as mindless fun but me personally I just found it annoying and immature. I am not the target audience for a film like this.



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