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Granny (1999)

This film has more nostalgia for me than any other horror film I have seen, that's not to say I think it's a good film because it couldn't be any further from that if it tried. I hold this film so dearly is because this was one of the first films I remember renting from Blockbuster for a sleepover at a friends, we were both way too young to be watching a film like this but it was the Halloween season and said friends mum let us pick anything we wanted from the shelf. For one reason or another I was immediately drawn to the cover on the front of the VHS box and it has been a staple watch for me almost annually. Annoyingly, the first twenty minutes of this film is spent with the main cast sat around a table conversating with one another. The reason I bring this up is because this holds no relevance to the plot of the film and with a run time of only sixty minutes the first third of the film is completely wasted. Eventually once things do get moving it is simply just a case of putting each character in a singular situation for them to be killed one by one. This is an extremely thin plot that makes very little to no sense, that is up until the closing moments and even then it still doesn't really. The acting across the board here is pretty abysmal. Everyone involved genuinely looks like they are trying to give a good performance but in actual fact it causes more damage than good. It's one thing being a bad actor but it's a whole other level when you're a bad actor and you try to compensate for that by over performing. Every line delivery is just as excruciating as the last to the point where it just becomes comedic. There is certainly a drinking game to be made somewhere from watching this. The score to this is very reminiscent of an episode of goosebumps, feeling overly dramatic and almost cartoonish. I would be able to tolerate this if it was used sparingly but it plays out consistently throughout any scene that doesn't feature dialogue. The sound design is equally just as bad, If you have ever wanted to hear a baseball bat make the sound of a whip as it cuts through the air then look no further. Pairing all this with some really poor cinematography and editing it's a wonder why I do this to myself so often. Even the kills themselves are all done off camera, so although every one of them eventually meets their demise we never actually see any of it play out on screen. All we are left with is some very shoddily put together aftermath scenes with blood that looks like ketchup sprayed on the floor and around the actors. As we reach the closing moments, I guess the explanation for this could quite easily be justifiable with the final revelation but all the ending does is make everything else that has come before it very questionable. As poor as this film is, I do have to admit it is a regular watch for me and that is solely based on nostalgia. I can't recommend it and I really don't think I would want anyone else to suffer at the hands of it. I think deep down we all have that one film that we know I our hearts is absolutely dreadful but we revisit it time and time again because it takes us back to a moment in life rather than the enjoyment of the film itself. This for me is mine.


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