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Blood Diner (1987)

I always remember the poster art for this being very enticing, and seeing it crop up on numerous horror lists over that past few years contributed to that curiosity. As the credits began to roll on this film, all I can say is I have never felt so let down and robbed of my time. Can someone please explain to me, why this is so well liked within the community,and why people are even still taking about this 35 years later?

I can only assume that the intention of director Jackie Kong was to make this as excessively ridiculous as it possibly can be. However, it doesn’t warrant sacrificing quality and standard of the production. The director tries to cover up her lack of skill by masking what feels like every other (poorly curated) scene with nudity - something I imagine works well for all the teenage boys who may have discovered this film at a young age, for me, I just found it distasteful.

I can't decide who is most as fault here, the director or the writer. The constant repetitive plot exposition, and reminders of who the characters are, became an endeavor in itself. Ironically, this allowed it to lose all sense of direct narrative. I was constantly questioning how much time had passed between each scene.

One of the other big grievances I have is the score. It is extremely annoying throughout, and the volume is so excessive in scenes that have little to no dialogue, constantly rising up and down in volume giving an unnatural feel. This is something that does slowly get phased out as the film goes on but I struggled not to notice it within the first 30 minutes.

Every character feels like a caricature of themselves, playing up to the typical stereotypes of their professions. The two police detectives (played by LaNette LaFrance and Roger Dauer) were the most guilty of this, delivering sexist one liners and a cringeworthy punchline at every opportunity. The main leads, two brothers, Michael Tutman played by Rick Burks and George Tutman played by Carl Crew, have the odd entertaining moment between them here and there but overall are equally just as idiotic and mindless as the rest of the performances. With dialogue so painfully hard to watch, I'm surprised I made it to the credits without calling it a day. The dialogue genuinely feels like it has been written by a adolescent, with relentles childish profanities and jokesx that would only resonate with teenagers.

The practical and makeup effects, albeit very low budget, did the job. With the creation of Sheetar requiring numerous body parts, it does make for some fun kills and creative scenes - in obtaining said body parts. The scene where a woman gets her head deep-fried is a good example. Also, in this same scene, we’re shown a woman being cut directly down the middle with a giant cleaver, before finally, in the movies climax, having a zombie massacre in a club (yes, you read that last one right). The effects are of the lowest quality, yet have a creative charm that makes for some brief moments of entertainment in an overall messy production.

With the ending leaving the door open for a sequel, I had to find out if this story continues. I did find that there is indeed a continuation of this story, under a different working title, but a sequel nonetheless. I guess the only question is, do I dare put myself through this again? This is by far one of the worse horror films I have endured in some time. I honestly can't recommend this to anyone. I can't even begin to think of anybody who would get any form of satisfaction from this.



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